Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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