Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i out mim tonsoeep
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