Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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