bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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