Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
