smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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