so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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