A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
