apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
