i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize