I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
