Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
