How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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