You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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