NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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