She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
