return my video game
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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