if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
