id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
