I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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