if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
