She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
