So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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