i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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