my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
