Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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