If that was your dad, he is hot
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
