I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
did i just pee glitter
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
