Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize