i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
