Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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