she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
