my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Dick very happy bro
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
