why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
