he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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