Whod you bang
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
