Tell her she can't have a vagina
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My penis needs a shock collar
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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