She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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