u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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