Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
