And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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