I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
