How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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