I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize