I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
