I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
