He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
