He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize