I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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