hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize