A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
