I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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