my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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