So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
