What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
