I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize