Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Randomize
