Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
