I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This baby is an asshole
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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