It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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