i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
