Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I believe in your delicious
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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