Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
